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Lipstick Masters Post: 16/02/2018

Young Matthew has a little accident...

After a hard days graft welding drain covers young Matthew of Caulfield straddled atop his aging, haggard donkey and clip-clopped back to his humble living quarters where he sat at his steam powered laptop. Carefully Matthew shoveled some coal into the old tarnished firebox and eagerly waited for the pressure guage to reach 1 bar (14.5038psi). However today there was a problem, the guage was not moving at all "What am I to do" said Matthew aloud, he tapped on the guage with his index finger, with a jolt the guage began to rise, Matthew issued himself with a smug-cherubish grin, shortly followed by the thought "I really should invest in some modern equipment" he then proceeded to place the kettle upon the firebox.

A mere twelve minutes had passed when the Windows 95 home screen appeared, another three short minutes passed as the dial-up connection bleeted its merry way onto the World, Wide, Interwebs. Matthew took a sup of his Barry's tea-brew, grinned to himself again and fired up Internet Explorer 6 because as he knew with absolute confidence IE6 is the best browser known to mankind. Following muscle memory he began to type "www.pornhu..." then another thought elbowed, kneed and jostled for position within his tiny mind (housed in an abnormally large head) "I'll log onto my website and see if my good friend Baron Von Jimbob the thirty-second of Wellington has updated the CSS".

Well, Matthew couldn't believe his eyes, the equivalent of maple syrup with blueberries and bacon on pancakes smashed into his retinas with the violence of a sex-starved pair of balls ricocheting off of a taught, firm derriere. The design was so far ahead of it's time, so achingly beautiful that he had no choice, he pissed himself :/ .


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